Nerdcore Boxing

I’ve been thinking a lot about conserving  energy in the ring. Apparently thus far I’ve been dense, because I never think about it while in the ring. I do what I want to do and if I gas, I curse my training. Yet I’m in control of my breathing, my work rate and rest periods.

A quote from the great military strategist Sun Tzu comes to mind: “Be before the enemy in occupying the raised and sunny spots, and carefully guard your line of supplies. Then you will be able to fight with advantage.” – Sun Tzu

Managing supply lines (or energy levels) is an inherent part of fighting. Yeah sometimes you have to say, screw it and ignore fatigue. But to enter a conflict and never consider when to conserve energy is foolish. I’m done being foolish.

I’m amazed that everybody doesn’t use this around their eyes and on their nose before sparring. My gym is big on vaseline. Hell, we even put it on our opponent’s gloves. Why? Yeah it could prevent cuts, but headgear already does that well. The real benefit is preventing abrasions, which really mark up your face.

A guy from my gym forgot the vaseline the other night and he’s got this massive abrasion under his eye. I too forgot the vaseline last time I sparred. Looking at him is a good reminder to use vaseline next time.

I’ve been pondering for a long while what kind of boxers make me nervous. I spent a lot of time looking back on times I felt apprehensive about getting in the ring with certain guys. And I spent some time asking other boxers what makes them nervous.

Between myself and the boxers I talked to we came up with a lot of good answers and good attributes that make a boxer frightening. Many of these are things I’ll focus on more in my training. But in the end I was quite surprised at the attribute that came up the most.

What attribute most frightens you in an opponent? The survey says????

Hand Speed?

While hand speed is important, in my opinion, it’s slightly overrated. A good boxer doesn’t stand in punching range for long anyway. Almost no one I talked to singled out hand speed either.

Mobility?

While I don’t worry about hand speed too much, foot speed is a big deal. A guy that’s always out of reach and can strike at will is dangerous. Still it ranks in the relative middle of my “scary list” as well as in the lists of most of the boxers I polled.

Body Punchers?

Now we’re talking! Lots of people singled out body punchers. It’s hard to defend high and low. Body punches hurt and can lead to TKO’s. Plus the thought of body blows stealing one’s endurance is alarming.

Power Punchers?

Power punchers are frightening. A guy with true one-punch KO power has to be THE scariest opponent. But how many guys out there have that kind of KO power? Not many. I guess this is the reason it wasn’t the top answer.

The Survey Says!?!?

What was the top answer? Well, as one boxer put it, “I’m afraid of the guy I can’t hit.”

When one boxer mentioned only defense in his, “scary list,” I realised that defense was on everyone’s list. I also realized that my 3 most intimidating sparring partners had only great defense in common.

It makes sense when considering my own attitudes and motivations. I can take the risk of possibly going down, I can take getting beat up, I can take gassing, but if I can’t land punches I’m not in the fight. There’s nothing worse than when you’ve gotten to the bottom of your bag of tricks and nothing is working. Great defense absolutely demoralizes opponents.

I’ve always valued defense, but after this epiphany I’m doubling my efforts. Back to working on my defensive footwork!

What makes a boxer tough enough for the sport? And can this toughness be built up over time, or does it have to be there from the start?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few days after seeing the all too common ritual of throwing a new guy in with a bigger/better boxer to take his first real beating (note this wasn’t at my gym). In this instance I saw a once proud and swaggering teenager break down and quit. Did that mean this kid will never be boxing material?

If his body can be built up to take punishment, why can’t his mind? Personally I think the boxing mind can be conditioned somewhat gradually, just like the body. But I guess a boxer’s will is the big variable that trainers want to size up. Thus the school of hard knocks maintains its popularity.

Sparring is for learning, for working on things. It’s for getting ready for a fight, but it’s not a fight. Don’t try and knock out your sparring partners.

You can still spar hard and not try to KO people. If you actually do KO one of your partners, you’re probably going to really hurt his chin (chin means one’s ability to take a punch without getting wobbled). And since your partner likely isn’t trying to KO you, don’t you think it’s kind of lame to ambush him during practice?

At every gym I’ve ever trained at, there is always that one guy that’s trying to hurt his sparring partners. If you happen to be that guy, you should know, people talk. And in your case they probably have nothing nice to say.

This post is a continuation of Boxing Tips: Sparring Comfortably, Part I.

As I developed in the ring beyond basic defense, some endurance and jab, I recall encountering these stages:

Stage 4: Getting Distance Right

By the time you start to learn to land your jab you’ll have already developed some sense of distance. Next you’ll notice that even though you can find your opponent’s head with the jab your opponent often slips or counters your jabs. If you’re having this next issue it’s because you’re reaching. Reaching refers to starting to throw the punch little too soon during the step forward. If you have this bad habit instead of your jab being a weapon a good boxer will just use this flaw to tee off on you.

Even when your jab develops there is still a lot to learn about distance. I found getting distance right has a lot to do with getting used to contact. When you get closer to your opponent things get dangerous. Yet you need find your range, come forward to land and get out of range.

Stage 5: The Old One-Two
After your jab starts landing regularly it’s time to throw the cross.

Watching a new boxer’s cross is often amusing, it’s kind of a girly pawing punch. But most people go through this stage so don’t be embarrassed. Partly it’s because the boxer is simply afraid to come forward.

Once you start throwing a real man’s cross, you’ll have to get it to land. I found when I first started to develop my cross, hook and uppercuts, I’d telegraph them (meaning signal that I was about to throw). In my case I’d cock it back, or start the punch by raising my elbow. Before my hook I’d pause to shift my weight to the left.

You may telegraph your punch differently. Ask your sparring partners why they can always slip a particular punch, they might be able to help isolate the problem.

Stage 7: Seeing Punches Coming & Slipping

It’s the punch you don’t see that lands clean. If you saw it coming it probably didn’t land cleanly. You need to gain the guts to watch the punch as it flies into your mug. You especially want to watch the big punches. If you close your eyes or turn your head then you’ll have little chance of slipping or rolling it off.

A trainer once said to me, “If you’re going to get hit, you might as well see the punch coming.” Following this advice dramatically improved my defense.

Stage 7: Building Your Arsenal

Learning to regularly and cleanly land more than a jab against a good boxer can take some time. When you can consistently land the jab-cross combo against quality competition you’ve accomplished something. Congratulations! Now the fun really begins.

For those new to sparring, this post lays out what I remember to be the stages of my progression until the point I became comfortable sparring with good boxers. If you haven’t sparred yet, in addition to reading this you might want to start developing pre-sparring skills.

Stage 1: Basic Defense

No matter how hard you try, new boxers seem destined to keeping their hands down during the initial rounds. Forget trying to look like Sugar Ray Leonard the first time you spar. Set a modest goal such as keeping your hands up. Try overcompensating, put them extra high.

Other basic defensive goals are, stay calm, don’t lose your temper and generally try to circle away from your opponent’s power hand.

Stage 2: Endurance

The first major barrier to sparring proficiency is getting your wind. When you start sparring will probably be the first time you take roadwork seriously. Not only will lack of endurance rob you of the latter parts of rounds, but it will make you afraid to do certain things when you’re fresh. Best get to work on your sparring endurance training.

Stage 3: Developing a Good Jab

Against a good boxer, you’ll have difficulty landing punches at all and likely the first punch you will land regularly will be your jab.

To be continued…

A few days ago I went to another gym to watch one of my sparring partners spar with a few pro boxers and some very experience amateurs. We weren’t the only ones there and I had the fortune to watch a number of very talented pro and am boxers step in the ring.

When bringing a fighter to another gym, it’s not a real fight, but it’s definitely a different experience than watching two “sparring partners” go at it. A couple of the boxers looked initially surprised at their opponents whaling away, as was I. As expected, the pros that had less to prove weren’t the ones dishing out most of the punishment, it was the amateur boxers trying to make a name for themselves.

A few guys were “hurt” and needed the equivalent of standing 8’s, and some blood was split. But for me, it was a good lesson learned.

This is the second installment 0f Hiding Injuries from White Collar Jobs. In all likelihood you won’t need this particular type of boxing tips often, but just in case here it goes.

Nose Issues

Fortunately your nose toughens up a bit. Swelling and bleeding are most common when you first start sparring. Nose injuries tend to cause numbness and are not very painful (I don’t consider them painful at all), but they are kind of annoying.

Swollen noses are tough to breath through and often cause “whistling.” Fortunately most people don’t realize this and won’t associate your temporarily nasal voice with boxing.

The day after I busted my nose boxing, the president of my company called me into her office and had me read something off a document (just my luck). At the end she squinted at me and asked, “Do you have a cold?” I replied, “My nose is just stuffed up” Heh, heh, heh…

If your nose bled a lot the night before, you’ve got some scabs holding the internal cuts together. Bleeding can start again if you rub, wiggle or bump it. For the love of god, don’t blow it at work!!! You’ll get a gusher. Just in case I suggest avoiding a white shirt.

Using Do-It-Yourself Coagulants
There are some over-the-counter products that act as blood coagulants and can prevent or stop a nose bleed.

Disclaimer:

Ask your doctor about this next tip before attempting it. The Nerd of Steel is not a doctor, doesn’t give medical advice, and writes this blog for entertainment purposes only.

Anyway Neosporin is a blood coagulant. If nose bleeds are a big issue apply some in your nostril using a q-tip.

Learning the Art of Cover Up

I once had my nose busted and two black eyes from sparring (long story). At my current job this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but at that time I worked as a spokesperson for an good sized software company. I often took interviews with the media, once even being interviewed on CNN. Needless to say, I was in real danger of being fired if I didn’t handle it carefully.

Let’s just say sometimes you may have to swallow your manly pride and buy some makeup. Go to the beauty dept of the applicable store near you and explain your predicament to the women who works there. She’ll probably laugh at you, but then she’ll help you pick out the makeup and explain how to apply it.

Practice Makes Perfect

Don’t let the morning of work be the first time you breakout the Preparation H and attempt to rest your glasses on that fat sausage of a swollen nose. Run through your routine the night before. After spending a week managing one black eye you’ll develop the skills that would make even a mortician proud. My wife will tell you, after that one incident she is in awe of my skills.

Summary

• Don’t worry, people are unobservant regarding changes to appearance.
• Don’t put your attention on your facial bruise while talking to others.
• Use Preparation H to manage swelling.
• Wear glasses to hide black eyes.
• If you’re desperate, and very comfortable with your masculinity, use makeup. Practice applying the night before.
• Avoid white shirts in case of spontaneous nose bleeding.
• Neosporin is a useful coagulant.

All of these tips make white collar boxing sound more dangerous to your face than it really is. Put this post in perspective, these are remedies for the rare worse case scenarios.

I rarely get my face marked up from sparring. That said there have been a couple of times where I looked in the mirror after sparring and thought, “I’m going to be fired or disciplined at work.” Other boxers don’t get this, but to white collar professionals this is probably the biggest fear. But fear not, I get away with boxing injuries and you will too.

Being a fair skinned guy with a long and still somewhat thin nose, I’m prone to getting visible bruises, swelling, abrasions and once even a cut. Yet I’ve never had anyone at work notice my facial damage.

Before I give some basic remedies, there are 4 points to keep in mind if you’re looking in the mirror and stressing:

1. People Are Remarkably Unobservant – You surely are familiar with the phenomena of girls changing their hair color from blonde to red only to have no one notice. People miss changes in appearance, even striking ones.

2. It Always Looks Worse to You – This is really just an extension of the last point. Don’t look in the mirror and worry, ask somebody else if it’s noticeable.

3. People Notice What You’re Self Conscious About – If you’re worried about the shape of your nose and all of your attention is on your nose, it draws other people’s attention to your nose. On the flip side if it’s the last thing on your mind and your body language remains normal, people are less likely to be tipped off.

4. People Do Notice Bruises, On “Boxer’s” FacesI have found this to be true so many times. If they don’t know I box, they either don’t notice small changes to my face or they don’t associate them with getting punched. Once I tell a coworker that I box they notice every little abrasion.

So if you can help it, don’t tell them you box. Additionally if you do have a job where coming in with a black eye is a potential firing offense, keeping your little hobby quiet allows for a wider range of explanations.

Prevention

You should be wearing headgear to spar, so cuts should be very rare or non-existent. Abrasions are cause by the gloves “catching” on your skin and are the most common thing you’ll deal with. Using Vaseline on your nose, around the eyes, on your headgear, and if possible, on your opponents gloves can make the punches slide off.

Preparation H: Not Just for Hemroidal Swelling

Swelling is the easiest thing to fix, thanks to the over the counter miracle drug: Preparation H. Yes, your fellow boxers might call you buttface, but you’ll be amazed how much of the swelling disappears. The effects last about 4 hours.

Glasses Hid Superman, They Hide Black Eyes Too

Superman’s Clark Kent disguise always seemed stupid, but you’ll be amazed how few people notice bruises behind glasses. If you are vision impaired, wear glasses instead of contacts. I wouldn’t recommend wearing sunglasses all day, it looks suspicious.

Stay tuned for Part II of this article!