Sep 09 2007
Boxing Tips: Hiding Injuries From White Collar Jobs, Part I
I rarely get my face marked up from sparring. That said there have been a couple of times where I looked in the mirror after sparring and thought, “I’m going to be fired or disciplined at work.” Other boxers don’t get this, but to white collar boxers this is probably the biggest fear. But fear not, I get away with boxing injuries and you will too.
Being a fair skinned guy with a long and still somewhat thin nose, I’m prone to getting visible bruises, swelling, abrasions and once even a cut. Yet I’ve never been “busted” at work. Before I give some basic remedies, there are 4 points to keep in mind if you’re looking in the mirror and stressing:
1. People Are Remarkably Unobservant - You surely are familiar with the phenomena of girls changing their hair color from blonde to red only to have no one notice. People miss changes in appearance, even striking ones.
2. It Always Looks Worse to You - This is really just an extension of the last point. Don’t look in the mirror and worry, ask somebody else if it’s noticeable.
3. People Notice What You’re Self Conscious About - If you’re worried about the shape of your nose and all of your attention is on your nose, it draws other people’s attention to your nose. On the flip side if it’s the last thing on your mind and your body language remains the norm, people are less likely to be tipped off.
4. People Do Notice Bruises On Boxer’s Faces - I have found this to be true so many times. If they don’t know I box, they either don’t notice small changes to my face or they don’t associate them with getting punched. Once I tell a coworker that I box, they notice every little abrasion.
So if you can help it, don’t tell them you box. Additionally if you do have a job where coming in with a black eye is a potential firing offense, keeping your little hobby quiet opens up a wider range of explanations.
Prevention
You should be wearing headgear to spar, so cuts should be very rare or non-existent. Abrasions are cause by the gloves “catching” on your skin and are the most common thing you’ll deal with. Using Vaseline on your nose, around the eyes, on your headgear, and if possible, on your opponents gloves can make the punches slide off.
Preparation H: Not Just for Hemroidal Swelling
Swelling is the easiest thing to fix, thanks to the over the counter miracle drug: Preparation H. Yes, your fellow boxers might call you buttface, but you’ll be amazed how much of the swelling disappears. The effects last about 4 hours.
Glasses Hid Superman, They Hide Black Eyes Too
Superman’s Clark Kent disguise always seemed stupid, but you’ll be amazed how few people notice bruises behind glasses. If you are vision impaired, wear glasses instead of contacts. I wouldn’t recommend wearing sunglasses all day, it looks suspicious.
Stay tuned for Part II of this article!
I rarely get my face marked up from sparring.
Happily, that has been my experience, too.
That said there have been a couple of times where I looked in the mirror after sparring and thought, “I’m going to be fired or disciplined at work.” Other boxers don’t get this, but to white collar boxers this is probably the biggest fear. But fear not, I get away with boxing injuries and you will too.
I’m glad you’re mentioning this topic. I have talked with some of the guys about this. It’s a concern, to be sure. However, I also have to tell you that male colleagues, opposing counsel, and clients have invariably been really interested to find out that I box. (Women have been less receptive, for whatever reasons.) Thus, though I try to avoid injuries (for the sake of not getting hurt), even in a white-collar world, the occasional bruise has not caused me any problems, other than the occasional embarrassment.
4. People Do Notice Bruises On Boxer’s Faces - I have found this to be true so many times. If they don’t know I box, they either don’t notice small changes to my face or they don’t associate them with getting punched. Once I tell a coworker that I box, they notice every little abrasion.
Hah! So true! You have described my experience with those small marks. People who don’t know that I box don’t seem to notice and don’t say anything. Guys who do know that I box often give me some good-natured ribbing, saying things like, “Oh, I guess you came in second in your last bout…” or some such thing.
So if you can help it, don’t tell them you box. Additionally if you do have a job where coming in with a black eye is a potential firing offense, keeping your little hobby quiet opens up a wider range of explanations.
While I agree with you, from a practical, job-preserving perspective, I’m also a bit uncomfortable with keeping my little hobby quiet, as you suggest. I start to go into stealth mode. It’s like Fight Club.
Nevertheless, I can’t offer any reasonable alternative, so I’ll have to live with the cognitive dissonance for now.
Preparation H: Not Just for Hemroidal Swelling
Thanks for the tip. I had not heard about this before.
Glasses Hid Superman, They Hide Black Eyes Too
I’m covered there. An added benefit: for whatever reason, people don’t generally imagine guys who wear glasses as boxers. So if you’re operating in stealth mode, wearing your glasses, doing your geeky white-collar job, odds are very good that no one will suspect you of doing anything aggressive, much less of climbing into the ring and trading punches with a fellow who is trying to hit you a lot more than you can hit him. Hah! Little do they know!
Ha ha! I got away with fat lips and little abrasions around the eye…thankfully, my nose usually stops bleeding soon after;-)
I used to wear glasses and still have a pair lying around somewhere. I should get them fixed up with plain lenses!
No one at work got a clue I train boxing….I am a mild mannered geek, after all.
Great stuff Nerd of Steel, looking forward to the second installment!
P.S. I’ve heard of Prep H being used to remedy puffy eyes and dark circles under eyes after a big night out.
Fight Club is a good analogy. I’ve gone both ways in telling my coworkers. I guess it all depends on the job and how likely you are to get banged up in training.
For instance about a year or so I was a media spokesperson for a global software company. If I had gotten a black eye at the wrong time I really could have been fired from that job.
-Nerd of Steel
No one at work got a clue I train boxing….I am a mild mannered geek, after all.
They probably don’t know that you visit Nerd of Steel’s blog either!
[…] is the second installment 0f Hiding Injuries from White Collar Jobs. In all likelihood you won’t need this particular type of boxing tips often, but they make an […]